


The Suburban Life

by pastandfuturequeen



Series: SW Finn Week 2017 [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Finn Deals With Nonsense, Finn centric, Gen, M/M, Next Door Neighbor au, Professor Finn, suburban life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 07:35:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11550519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastandfuturequeen/pseuds/pastandfuturequeen
Summary: Finn was ready for the suburban life. He had a lovely spouse, a dog, and he was the ideal neighbor that didn't play music too loud and let the neighborhood kids pet his dog on a walk. Yet there appeared a challenge he had never expected lying between him and his perfect suburban life.White People.Or, alternatively - Finn moves into a new neighborhood and feels himself getting a migraine at all this white people nonsense.Finn Week 2017: Day 3 - Next Door Neighbor AU





	The Suburban Life

The day shone brightly, and with it came the sweet smell of strawberries and freshly mowed grass. Perfectly manicured yards and houses lined down the street, American flags hanging proud out of every other windowsill. Finn walked down the pebbled walkway and climbed up the stairs of the house, looking for an empty space to set down the cardboard box in his hands. He kicked the door closed behind him and settled the box at the corner of the room, right next to the one labeled “Bathroom.” Finn let out a satisfied breath as he surveyed his new home.

It was spacious, with a fireplace at the far end of the room and a large television already hooked up to the wall. At the other end was a staircase leading up to the second floor, where Finn knew lay his comfortable bed waiting for him. It was the beginnings of the ideal suburban life, spacious backyard and loving spouse included.

An excited corgi dashed in between his legs, yapping and jumping in an attempt to grab his attention and away from his thoughts. “Hey BB,” Finn said as he crouched down. He scratched between the dog’s ears, a warm smile on his face. “You feeling hungry?”

The corgi barked once and headed straight towards the kitchen, and Finn supposed that was an answer enough. He rose and attempted to follow when he heard a knock on the door. Finn turned around to answer, imagining it must be the rest of the furniture brought by the moving company. 

A couple greeted him instead, the man tall and sunburned, the woman petite and blonde. The two had matching smiles on their faces, their teeth blindingly white. “Hi,” the woman said, her voice inexplicably cheery. “We’re the Smiths from next door, I’m Katelyn and this is my husband Robert,” she said, leaning into her husband. “We noticed that you just moved in, and wanted to bring this as a Welcoming Gift,” Katelyn finished, raising a long tupperware covered with a red plastic lid. Her eyebrows raised expectantly.

Finn took the gift from her hands, offering a smile of his own. “Thank you, it’s thoughtful. My name’s Finn, my spouse is unfortunately still deployed and can’t thank you themselves.”

“Wow that’s impressive, my husband was in the Marine Corp, weren’t you Robert?”

The man chuckled as though his wife had said a glorious joke. “Yes, from 2002 until 2010. Is she also a Marine?”

“Air Force, actually,” answered Finn, his words carefully calm. “They’re a pilot.”

“Amazing!” exclaimed Katelyn. “Well we look forward to meeting her when she gets back. You must be busy unpacking so we’ll get out of your hair. Just know that if you need anything, we’re just a yell away! Don’t be a stranger!” The two made their exit, both smiling as cheerfully as though they had just won the lottery.

Finn closed the door behind him, his face relaxing now that he didn’t need to smile so broadly. He looked curiously down at the contained in his hands, wondering what it might be. Finn travelled to the kitchen and set down the tray, setting aside the red lid to look at the contents. “Is that . . .” Finn frowned and used a fork to pry at the surface of the concoction. “Are those ramen noodles?”

They were. Finn looked at the casserole with the most bewildered expression on his face.

It was only the beginning.

Finn was starting to regret having moved before his spouse came back from deployment. It wasn’t due to unpacking, or the lonely nights. It was the neighbors. Finn was a good neighbor. He took out his bins in time for the garbage collector and put them back before they started to stink. He cleaned up after his dog on walks. He never put on music too loud or woke anyone up by mowing the lawn at some ungodly hour of the morning. He was courteous, and respectful, and liked to keep busy. And although his neighbors were not rude per se, they were, for lack of a better term, _painfully_ White. 

He had returned the tupperware to the Smiths the next day, washed and dried sparkling clean, bland pleasantries prepared on the tip of his tongue. He had barely managed to avoid the invitation to stay over for lunch, thoughts of the casserole currently in his garbage bin appearing in the forefront of his mind. Finn wasn’t unable to avoid the invitation to join the neighborhood barbecue. Finn hoped it wouldn’t be as bad as he feared. They couldn’t mess up a barbecue, could they? Finn had hoped wrong.

Gluten free, cruelty free, and sugar free was how everyone else described it. Flavor free seemed like more of a suitable term. Finn made the attempt with some of the dishes. Others, such as the kale-infused potato salad, he stayed far away from. Aside from the food, the first half of the event was not completely terrible. Finn was able to meet some of the other families from the neighborhood, most of them pleasant. Some were the same violently friendly kind as the Smiths, who tried to relate to him with the smallest of similarities just to prove how Not Racist they were. At the later half Finn was able to meet June and Alex Nguyen, and it was through them that he was able to find some sanity later in the evening.

Music played from the plastic rock speakers in the yard, loud "classics" compromised predominantly of old rock and roll. Soon, some of the other adults migrated to the middle of the makeshift dancefloor. They performed what Finn could only describe as some sort of disturbing mating dance, hips gyrating in strange movements to a different rhythm than the music. Finn glanced over at the Nguyens, who were watching them with a smile and matching dead expression in their eyes.

“Do they always do that?” Finn asked, his voice low.

June nodded, carefully crafted smile still on her face. “It’s part of the culture. We’ve learned the best thing to do is just to smile and nod.”

Finn looked back at the quivering mass before him and formed a similar smile on his face.

At some point in the evening, some of the neighbor’s children appeared and mingled amongst themselves. The oldest of the Smith children, Ashleigh, approached her parents, thin blonde hair tied up in an even thinner ponytail. It was then that all hell broke loose.

Finn turned around at the sound of piercing screams.

“ _What do you mean I can’t borrow the car next week?!_ ” the girl shrieked at her mother.

“Ashleigh, keep your voice down - you’re causing a scene!” Katelyn hissed.

“No!” the girl stomped her foot indignantly, her flip flop making a loud smack. “You’re always doing this - always trying to _ruin_ my _life!_ ” her face grew red, her skinny frame shaking in anger. “God, you’re such a bitch!”

Finn cringed internally. Though he didn’t agree on the cause, he had to give some sort of admiration for the bravery this poor girl displayed, the foolishness that she considered worth her own life. He took a sip of the watered down lemonade, it being the only palatable drink available.

He almost spit out the drink two seconds later. Katelyn staggered two steps back, clutching her reddening cheek. Ashleigh's hand was at her side as she straightened, taking a moment to recover from the force of the slap.

The girl was going to die. That was the only thing Finn was sure of. Finn was going to be a witness to murder. He wondered briefly if he should offer his medical experience before the ambulance would arrive, but thought better of it. His thoughts were interrupted as the rest of the scene progressed.

The girl huffed and stomped towards the house, the door slamming behind her.

Katelyn burst into tears. A herd of the other women gathered around her, bringing soothing words of comfort. Finn stared into his cup, his eyes wide and disbelieving.

Finn left soon afterwards, too shocked for words.

A week later, Finn sat at his kitchen table, head in his hands. His entire body felt drained, his mind swirling in confusion. He was a good neighbor, quiet, kept to himself. He let some of the neighborhood kids pet BB-8 when they went out on a walk. He was a normal person. He had chosen this house in a good neighborhood with a big yard for BB-8, with sterling silver appliances and marble countertops and silk bedsheets and a simple twenty minute drive away from the university where he would start lecturing in the fall. Finn was a good person, and all he wanted was the quiet suburban life. He didn’t deserve this nonsense.

That was how his spouse found him, smelling of sweat and the permanent smell of engine grease that never really went away. “Hey, love,” Poe said, pressing a kiss to his husband’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”

Finn sighed. “They don’t use washcloths, Poe.” he muttered into his hands.

“What?”

“They don’t - Our neighbors don’t use washcloths.” Finn raised his head.

Poe stared at him, his expression amused. “You’re joking - they must -”

Finn shook his head. “They don’t,” he whispered.

A pregnant pause. Poe's face morphed into confusion and then horror. It was exactly how Finn had felt the past two weeks.

“Then how do they-?”

“ _I don’t know._ ”

Poe pulled up a chair and plopped down on top of it. “Should we start carrying hand sanitiser around with us?” he wondered aloud.

“I think they might get offended,” Finn replied. Though the thought was tempting.

“Then we do it when they’re not watching.”

Finn nodded, determined. He sighed. This was going to be a long, long, year.

**Author's Note:**

> This is loosely based on my own experiences as a brown latina living in a very White neighborhood. I'm talking casserole loving, kale eating, soccer mom infested, off beat clapping, white suburban middle class neighborhood. I have actually tasted a chicken noodle ramen casserole. As in, actual ramen from those little packets. It was an experience I wouldn't wish on anybody. The barbecue is a basic recap of an actual experience I've had, and the conversation about the washcloths is one I actually had with my mom when we learned white people don't use them.
> 
> Please, nobody hit me with that "this is reverse racism!1!!" bullshit. I'm making fun of casseroles, dancing, and washcloths. If you think light jokes like that is racism, you have no idea what racism actually is. This is just some light fun. And let's be real, y'all treat Finn far worse in this fandom in the name of your ships.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and feel free to leave kudos, comments, and criticism below!


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